Hello my esteemed friends,
It has come to my attention that a new crop has risen, students full of life and of lap dancing abilities, students who almost come close to paralleling my previous presence on this campus. As a self proclaimed head cheerleader and a terrific understanding boisterous society member, I feel that it is my duty to advise you on how to do your job. As such, I feel that a list of items and of “dos and don’ts” would be most fitting in this situation, as I would like to pass on my extensive knowledge to you bright shining stars:
DOs:
Shake summ (If you aint twerkin it aint workin)
Gunga (Can be taken both ways)
Party with the King(ton)
Go to football games
Ask for consent when lap dancing
Worship Mr. Capano
DONTs
Find yourself in the back of a truck
Flash others on Fridays
Turn off your speaker in the chapel
Ask anyone under the age of 16 to be your valentine
Be the one driving the truck
In conclusion, my fellow Blue Key Patriots, I believe in you. I believe in your right to shout, to dance, to shake it and bake it, but most importantly, I believe in.
