Skeptical. That’s what many of my friends, including myself, felt about the adult support systems Andover has to offer. Even without giving it a chance, many of us assumed that counseling was ineffective. Others said their advisors kept canceling meetings, and that they didn’t feel close to any adults on campus. However, after I decided to reach out for support, my skepticism evaporated. Whether it be from your prefect or house counselors, or a Sykes counselor, I believe everyone, especially those who are struggling, should reach out and ask for help.
As school started to pick up recently, I’d felt like I was being dragged along, weighed down and dry of motivation. Tasks that used to be simple for me, for example, scheduling my time, studying structurally for tests, or even just keeping track of homework, seemed difficult. Yet, it felt as if everyone else was keeping up with everything without a problem, despite grief and stress. As much as students and faculty around me were saying that it was okay to allot time for myself, most people seemed to be doing fine. Was there something wrong with me? Then, one Saturday night, as I worked on the puzzle in our dorm common room, one of my house counselors brought up Sykes counseling. “I feel like everyone should try the counseling at Sykes at least once,” she said, while I scanned the table for edge pieces. Did I really need it, or was I being overdramatic? Would it even help? My house counselor emphasized that counseling should be normalized and talked about. Later that night, I made up my mind. I sent an email to Sykes expressing my interest in booking a counseling session, and decided to go sometime in the next week.
Long story short, I didn’t. Nor did I the week after that. I’d always come up with an excuse to avoid that short walk to Sykes: I was busy, or I had work to do, or I wanted to hang out in the Library instead. Only after a couple more unproductive nights, did I finally make the walk to Sykes. I wasn’t sure what to expect, aside from a vague image of awkward questions and sterile silence. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. With a cup of hot tea in my hands, I settled onto a couch, and gradually eased into conversation about all the struggles that I’d been having, emotionally and academically. Firstly, it was much easier to talk about feelings I was vulnerable about with a counselor. Although I knew these emotions wouldn’t just “go away”, it was nice knowing that there were valid reasons behind what I was feeling, and there wasn’t anything wrong with it either. I was reassured: I definitely wasn’t alone in this struggle. Lastly, we worked together to make a couple tangible plans to combat the issues that I’d been facing. At the end of my session, out of curiosity, I asked my counselor what students usually came to counseling for. She’d laughed, and said the answer was just about anything, from feeling stressed about classes to talking about a falling out with a friend.
I used to think that you had to be “depressed enough” to justify seeking mental health help, and anything less felt like overreaction. However, counseling isn’t a last resort. It’s a resource, and one that more people should feel comfortable trying. Talking to someone doesn’t mean something’s “wrong” with you, it just means that you’re human, and you’re taking care of yourself.
Discussing counseling should be normalised. I’m not alone in my struggle to keep up with Andover’s fast-paced schoolwork, especially amidst heavy emotions and grief. If I decided to ask for help after listening to those around me talking about it, why won’t others? It could be the difference between a student struggling and thriving at Andover.
So please. To anyone who’s struggling, this is a humble reminder that it’s okay to ask for help.
Reach out. Speak up. You’re allowed to take care of yourself.
There will always be people ready to help you do just that.
