Tilting a head slightly upwards to substitute a “hello,” maintaining a calm and composed, even a cold face before a finals exam, refusing to let out an excited scream after receiving an honors grade on a paper: these actions come to mind when one hears the word “nonchalant.”
Calling someone “nonchalant” has been deemed a joking praise, yet the term’s popularity has manifested into peoples’ personas. Presently utilized as a replacement for “cool” or “chill,” being nonchalant is often deemed a positive personality attribute. Perhaps this is true – an unbothered friend may not keep others on their feet, an unenthusiastic boyfriend might not “unnecessarily” call his partner so often during breaks, and an imperturbable teammate can reduce the anxious energy in the classroom before a major exam. Living amongst individuals with partial nonchalance provides much-needed stability in our lives. Despite the benefits, the excessive glorification of nonchalance has crafted an unenthusiastic and ingenuine generation that finds it awkward to reveal one’s thoughts and live true to oneself.
Ever since I began attending Andover, the “nonchalance” culture slowly seeped into my life. Walking in the hallways of Samuel Phillips Hall, waiting in a long line in Paresky Commons, or buying food in Susie’s, I recognized how people barely acknowledged each other and refused to throw in a simple, cheerful “hello.” In contrast to my previous school where breaks allowed for vibrant conversations revolving around our aspirations, in Phillips Academy, many students are unwilling to discuss their passions. This “nonchalance” has resulted in an environment wherein students conform to the prevalent social norms and hide behind a veil of apathy.
Nonchalance has further affected our intrapersonal relationships. In order to appear attractive or likable, young generations have been pretending as though we do not care much about others, even if they are our friends or partners. The truth of a “likable” individual, however, is quite different from what societal standards appear to be. Humans naturally strive for affection and affirmation in relationships. The glorification of nonchalance in social media platforms and within pop cultures has encouraged people to refrain from speaking their true thoughts. However, reacting enthusiastically to your friends’ comments and expressing our love and care towards others can establish a trusting relationship. This applies to students with a hectic “Andover” lifestyle – nonchalantly walking to Silent, listening to Coldplay music in the common room, away from the visitors, and preferring seclusion over communication have dominated the lives of many students here. Though piles of work may sometimes demand solitude, leaving room for cheerfulness after such tasks can enable a healthier, happier life with friends and families.
Living an enthusiastic, caring life deserves much more credit in well-being and success. Though it may be easier to immediately resort to an unpassionate attitude, reflecting on our passions and actively expressing our desires can allow us to attain a better understanding of who we are and enjoy your relationships with those around us. Not only can we form deeper connections through conversations, we can further learn how to be sincere to ourselves. As nonchalance permeates our daily lives at Andover, it is good to remain engaged in the small moments of our lives: asking friends about their days, offering to try out their hobbies, and knowing how to express our emotions. Our little actions travel a long way to brighten others’ days and assure that they are loved and cared for, regardless of what the “nonchalant” world may tell them.
