The bottom left of Paresky Commons (Commons) is reserved for upperclassmen, while the Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. Library (OWHL)’s basement exclusively hosts Juniors. Overworking is often praised and looked up to, and self-deprecation after an exam has settled as a norm here at Andover. The peculiarly common characteristic of these actions is that there are no written rules to enforce them. The Blue Book does not have limitations on where lowerclassmen or upperclassmen sit, nor does it enforce self-deprecation before and after exams. Yet, these “norms” are consistently enforced and frowned upon when disobeyed. The actions on campus contrast with the school’s vision for its students. Andover, in many ways, strives to encourage independent thinkers and students: those who are willing to see above the ordinary and reject normalcy for creativity. Yet, passionate and talented students from all over the world give up parts of themselves to become an ideal “Andover student.” This obsessive drive to fit in breeds a culture of conformity.
The idea directly opposed to social conformity, civil disobedience, is best summarized by Henry David Thoreau in his book Walden and On the Duty of Civil Disobedience: “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not when I came to die, discover that I had not lived… I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life”
When Thoreau published this book, he had indeed chased a life inside the woods. In the most literal sense, Thoreau went to live in the woods to escape the rules and regulations of the world. More metaphorically, many who transgress social conformity are often looked at similarly to Thoreau: an eccentric who lives in isolation and refuses to interact with normal society. Why do we frown upon living in the woods?
Behaviors of conformity can be linked to how students identify themselves. Focusing personal identity on the environment around us, we tend to gravitate and mimic the behaviors of our friends. As a result, a sense of belonging to the community is as important if not more than individual expression. Belonging is only reached when we give up a part of ourselves: when we leave the simplicity of the woods to join the civilized society. Under this understanding, social conformity boils down to the perception of self and the perception of society. The acceptance of oneself and positive self-perception hinges on acceptance from friends and adults, and social conformity is the most convenient way to get there. We cater to how society perceives us: wearing brands our friends like and sitting with our friends in assigned places in buildings. Too often or not, this desire to fit in also fuels a culture of blame. The crux of social conformity then clearly becomes fear. The perpetuation of social conformity, funny enough, is driven by ourselves. The same students who complain about their lack of independence ensure that these systems function correctly because of fear. To disobey conformity and jump into civil disobedience is too scary for us because of the imagined backlash. We imagine that we are made fun of and mocked. Fear is the great enemy of civil disobedience. Civil disobedience, though, provides room for unparalleled experiences and imagination. Additionally, the most celebrated creations are formed by bending the rules of how things are “supposed” to function. To think and act differently, to live in the woods, offers fresh perspectives on the most ordinary of occasions.
However, I still suffer from conformity, and I still imagine the backlash and mockery without having any conclusive evidence that my thoughts are grounded in reality. I still struggle to leave my talents behind and join a new club I have no experience in, try a different sport, and simply bring out a new idea in class. These small decisions have provided me with the comfort of fitting in, but also with the numbness to pursue safety. However, I adopted a mindset: if not today, when? If today is not the day to confront mindless comfort in search of imaginative expression, then no other day will be sufficient. Facing my fears doesn’t happen suddenly, but there is always a chance it will never happen if I keep dodging them. The only pole sustaining conformity, in our heads, is fear. When I disobeyed, nobody seemed to care. Today has to be when I start to talk to myself, to ensure that civil disobedience, a life in the woods, isn’t as bad as I thought it was. Today has to be the day, when we all, collectively, do something a little different. Participate in civil disobedience. Overcome numb comfort. Live a life in the woods.
