The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Exeter Life Sports

-Indoor Pursuits (Really get to know your couch and TV)

-Olive Oiled Wrestling (Actual sport in Turkey. Don’t ask me how I know this)

-Human Watching (Bird watching but more exciting)

-Power Stalking (They’re hiding in your walls)

-Instructional Feet Wrestling (Live streaming for money)

-Walking with the dawgs out (Again, shouldn’t be free)

-Ferret Legging (Don’t search it up. Exeter kids are into that.)

-Beer Jogging (Exeter’s tolerance is unmatched)

-Competitive Microsoft Excel (I guess you could say, they’re filling up their sheets 😉 )

-Bad-Kitten (E-sport Discord Catfishing)

-Recreational Glizzy Speed Eating (Exeter has a special talent for this)

-Couch to 5k calories (Oops, I forgot fat shaming is illegal here)

-Drumstick Line (It’s called a bulk)

-Recreational Relationships/Instructional Dating (My Ex(eter) really need this)

-Morning Stiffness (Fitness for Exeter students)

-SPIN (Super Politically Intimate Neighbors)