The Truth of the Eclipse at Andover
Things have been different since the eclipse this past Monday. Although chaos was expected, members of Phillips Academy have noticed some particularly unusual activity among students. Beneath the frantic awe felt by most students experimenting with the perplexing glasses, certain students had other plans for the eclipse than just watching the moon pass over the sun. Andover has had a long history with secret societies, and it only makes sense that this rare event would have many spiritual implications for such groups.
Students in Hale reported howling coming from the Sanctuary around the eclipse. Investigators traced the Sanctuary grounds, revealing a plethora of scraps from what appears to be makeshift furry tails. When questioned about the origin of said materials, the Guardians of the Makerspace claimed they permitted the use of Makerspace materials for fursuits. This meeting in the Sanctuary was believed to be part of the Andover furry communities’ roleplay as wolves howling at the moon. The school recently found the discarded wolf ears in a dumpster by Sibera, confirming that the furry community and the Ultimate Frisbee team are, in fact, one and the same.
Another report details remnants of candle wax and rose petals found in the Morse basement, along with empty beer cans and 55 mg Zyn pouches. Such evidence led investigators to assume the notorious society was performing a ritual during the eclipse. With assistance from a Greek teacher, we could decipher the writing carved into a nearby pong table. The engraving was a prayer to Dionysus, Greek god of wine and pleasure, and detailed the students’ hopes for Dionysus to help put an end to the miserable “dry” period Phillips Academy has been experiencing. Did their prayer work? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
