If you asked me right now what the hardest challenge I have faced at Andover is, I would not say classes, making friends, or imposter syndrome. I would say homesickness, without a doubt. To be honest, I never thought that homesickness would be a problem. In fact, I was actually excited about dorm life. I mean what teenager doesn’t want to live with their friends away from their parents? However, as soon as I bid goodbye to my parents and watched them drive away, I knew immediately that something was wrong. Instead of feeling the exhilaration that I expected, I felt lost. My parents, the pillars that upheld my very existence, had suddenly left me, and I was plunged into a bottomless pit of loneliness and insecurity. But that all changed as I started to make modifications in my life: becoming more social, asking for help, and forming a steady schedule to follow. Perhaps you should consider doing the same.
Now, I won’t lie, it took me a while to even bring up what I was going through to anyone. Part of it was because I didn’t want my parents to worry, but most of the reason was that I was embarrassed. I felt that I shouldn’t be missing my life back home; I thought that somehow I was being childish for crying over everything that I had left behind. However, when I didn’t feel better after the first week, I finally caved and expressed my struggle to my dad, confessing all the loneliness, the anxiety, and the stress I felt of having to acclimate to a completely foreign environment. My dad listened quietly and when I had finally stopped my rant, my dad chuckled:
“The emotions you are feeling right now are completely normal. Even I had them when I was a college student. But as your father and your senior in life, I can tell you that all the hardship you’re going through right now will get so much better before you even know it! I know it’s hard but just keep pushing forward and putting yourself out there, and pretty soon you’ll love the new life you created for yourself at Andover!”
I was skeptical at first, but I incorporated his advice and made changes to my daily life. The first part of my dad’s advice that I took was to become more social. I approached people, made plans to hang out, and filled my resting period with activities to do with friends, whether it was by going downtown or going to school festivities. I also talked to my peers about my struggles and consulted my dorm Prefects and House Counselors for advice on classes and Andover life. Opening up helped me realize that I wasn’t alone, and having people I could be emotionally vulnerable with began to make Andover actually feel like my second home. In addition, sharing my worries allowed me to solve my issues faster; the time that I would have spent being anxious about a problem was geared towards actually solving that dilemma with people willing to help me.
Aside from social aspects, I also made efforts to modify my study habits. I realized that in order to maximize the time I spent “putting myself out there,” I needed a set schedule for my academics — after all, it’s not really fun to hang out with your friends when you are worrying about assignments or tests. I started off by using a planner and preparing ahead, looking at the course calendar to study for tests a week in advance. Then I began integrating study centers and conference periods into my daily routine. (Yes, they really do help!) Finally, I began studying with my classmates, creating a group where we gave each other advice and help with any challenging problems or concepts. Getting my study schedule in order greatly reduced the stress I felt and helped me establish a dependable daily routine, giving me the sense of familiarity that I desperately needed.
After sticking to these habits for half the term, I can successfully say that things have gotten better. Yes, it is hard and it will certainly not be an overnight transformation. Yes, in some ways, you will always feel a longing for your home. But as my dad said, as you start to forge your path through the ins and outs of this school, you will experience so many good memories and meet an ample amount of amazing people that your life here will become as abundant as the life you have back home. Always remember that the emotions you’re experiencing are completely normal and that there are always people who are willing to help you. So reach out, and take charge in creating your life at Andover. You got this!
