The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: PG Football Player Professes Love To Teaching Fellow

Even though football is the game I play

I have much to say


You’ve taught me poetry in this elective I thought was an easy 6

But in all honesty

This class has been difficult

Because holding back my love for you 

is tougher than trying not to fumble.


So here, in this mandatory assignment,

I profess my love,


I’m not just a jock

I have much intellectual depth

I’ve read Pride and Prejudice

You know Darcy and Elizabeth?

They were 7 years apart and still managed to fall in love–I think…

I never actually finished the book

the movie still counts right?


Our age difference is no obstacle 

I have no prejudice against millennials

We can Live, Love, Laugh together


I know I’ve repeated senior year twice

But that’s what we have in common:

Never leaving high school.


Sure I’m failing Math 275

But what I lack in brains, I make up for in size, 

Plus, I’ll eventually be recruited to some ivy.


So what do you say, my Elizabeth?

Take my hand, set your prejudices aside,


We’ll form the union of PG and Teaching Fellow.