The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Love Poem for Hair Clump in Shower

Oh Hair-io, Oh Hair-io,

Watching you grow has been the highlight of Lower year. 

At your birth, you were merely a few strands

but quickly, you blossomed into a furry living creature

so faithful to your perch above the drain.


There is no greater feeling than your soft touch when I’m lonely. 

I sneak a foot out of my shower shoes 

and I give you the attention you deserve. 


Our reciprocal love making our showers

even hotter.


Admiring all the colors of your strands, 

a beautiful portrait of my peers. 

Diversity has no adversity 

in the haven of our shower. 


I don’t mind

the way you make the water in the shower build up around my ankles

because I’m already drowning in my affection for you.


Be my Forever Valentine,

Oh Hair-io, Oh Hair-io.