The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Ivy League Name Drop Mad-Lib

Recently accepted to an Ivy League College and don’t have enough of an Instagram following to fufill your need for attention? Oh do we have the conversation starters for you!!!

This {noun} reminds me of the new addition to the new {noun} building that {Ivy one is attending} is building. 

Wow! This {type of food} food that we are eating reminds me sooooo much of the {type of food} section of the newly renovated {Old White Man Name} dining hall {Ivy one is attending}. 

It’s funny, when I was touring {Ivy one is attending} I saw that same {noun}. 

Yeah {name} was on my tour of {Ivy one is attending}, too bad they have {lesser Ivy according to USNEWS} in their insta bio…

It’s actually crazy how much this grass reminds me of the grass at {Ivy one is attending}.

Something great about this gum I’m chewing is that it’s the same type of gum I’m chewing when I found out I was accepted to {Ivy I’m Attending}. 

I can’t wait to row crew at {Ivy I’m Attending}!!! I wonder what it’s like!!!!