The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Architectural Digest Feature: Bartlet Single

Lucas Barker, campus celebrity, is widely known for that one touchdown he made at his freshman year Andover/Exeter and his parents’ involvement in Operation Varsity Blues. As a campus influencer, he feels it is his job to set the standard for dorm fashion. When you step into Lucas Barker’s room, you feel as though you have been teleported to a different space and time. Known for his artistic abilities and creative edge, Barker has been transforming his bland and bare Bartlet dorm room into a vibrant scene of douche bag and mango Juul pods for the past three years. His common room area is adorned with a variety of decorations including a “Saturdays Are For The Boys” banner, a wall of empty Monster energy drink cans, and his personal couch—which has an assortment of abstract stains and imperfections. Barker stated, “Though the architecture of the space didn’t really work well alongside my flat-screen T.V. and the 50 baseball caps that I like to hang on the wall—yes, I played Little League—I enjoyed reinventing the meaning of a ‘Bro Pad’ and creating instead a ‘Bachelor Pad.’” After coining the unique term ‘Bachelor Pad,’ Barker has only continued to wow us with his vivacious sense of style. When asked about his ability to create such inspiring work every year, Barker responded wisely, “It’s all in here,” as he pointed to his brain. “I open up my creative chakra, and it just comes to me.” This subtle reference to smoking pot daily portrays the very sense of dedication that his supporters admire so much about his modernist style of work.