The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Athlete of the Week Andreas Johnstein ’22 Has “Medium Endurance”

Duke-commit Andreas Johnstein ’19 is a Varsity triple-threat as a member of Andover Power Walking, Theatre Basics, and Ping Pong Club. His “teammate” Tina ‘The Caboose’ Jasinski says, “Andreas has led the group team on multiple trips downtown. One day, we went all the way to Whole Foods and back, and only one kid was concussed by the Red Bull can that was thrown at us by townies in a Ford Focus.” In Theatre Basics, Johnstein had a standout performance during his rendition of the slam poetry from 21 Jump Street. For these reasons, he has been named The Phillipian’s Athlete of the Week.

When did you become interested in ping pong?

After watching the movie “Forrest Gump,” I instantly fell in love with the sport. One time when I had to get my fins removed–I mean, uh, my tonsils out–I tried to hit the ping pong balls into the bedpan in the same way Forrest did. I only wish the nurses actually cleaned the bedpan after I used it.

Who is someone you look up to?

Well, I am actually 3’1”, so I look up to everyone. In all seriousness, though, something that really inspires me is actually the empty bike rack to the right of Commons. I relate to it in that people rarely interact with me, but when you do, your Razor scooter gets stolen.

What are you most looking forward to for this year’s power-walking season?

Getting asked by creepy old men to go to their “yard sale up the street” is always the highlight, but I think not donating to the AHS cheerleading team as a way to make them pay for all the years they were mean to me in middle school will likely be the peak of the season.