The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Cowboy “Look of the Week”: Johnson McCoy Sports a Unique Take on Ranching

The Phillipian

Johnson McCoy flexes his biceps to show his personal flair.

Sporting a pigskin tank top with a scandalous reveal of his biceps, Johnson McCoy goes for the “barnwood” look. His tattoos, reflecting his inner monologue, are tatted with “YEE” on the right arm and “HAW” on the left . When questioned about his choice of tank top, he responded by saying that, “I feel it represents the true me,” which is, in a sense, inspirational. McCoy pairs the look with tight wool pants to juxtapose the loose top, and using a live snake as his belt, he says, he tries to demonstrate his “sneaky yet fierce personality.” The snake holds all of his guns. McCoy takes a risk by matching his outfit with horseshoes–completely not on theme with the rest of his outfit. He ackcesssororizes with an avant-garde alligator tooth necklace and a duck feather earring that are supposed to show ‘the conflict between my defensive and delicate side.” McCoy’s favorite article of clothing is his alligator skin cowboy hat. When asked about this he said, “It reminds me of my lost brother Steve Irwin, may he rest in peace. Having been born out of wedlock I have to remember that it is possible for us to be related, even if my youth pastor tells me he knows ‘for certain’ that I’m not. But how would he know anyway? Probably something my mom told him to tell me when they play-wrestle in the bedroom together.” Stand-out features of McCoy’s ensemble include his missing tooth that was replaced with a horse’s tooth and chicken stirrups, in addition to the two brandings on his upper thigh. One of them says, “Country boy” and the other, “I love my family like I love my wife.” When asked if he could elaborate on the specifics of his family tree, he simply said, “as my aunt-mom once said, ‘What doesn’t genetically mutate in response to weak DNA combinations makes you stronger.’”