The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on the Paths

“Does the crew team row? Or do they just all get on a school bus and leave campus?”

“I psychoanalyze my subject notebook colors.”

“Man is like fruit–some are moldy, some are ripe. Gatsby said that.”

“At this point it’s a battle between the colons and semicolons.”

“Hey, can you pick up the kids tonight? In Bish with the boys right now.”

“I really thought The Phillipian gave out soda. Mood: disappointed.”

“I drowned at PA Pool Club. They gave me a Salvatore’s gift card and said to ‘walk it off.’”

“Hexagons describe my undying passion for creme-brulee.”