The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Classifieds For The Lovelorn: Paul Franklin Holt Bitler

Andover can be a lonely place, and it’s not always easy to meet new people. So every week, we highlight one real, actual student who is on this campus and looking for love (serious relationships only — we don’t advertise hook-ups). If interested in putting your name here, email

Paul Franklin Holt Bitler ’21

Looking for someone who is kind, loving, and NOT from New York City. Preferably they like dogs and are NOT from New York City and it’d be lovely if they lived ANYWHERE EXCEPT New York City.


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