The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Classifieds for the Lovelorn

Exeter can be a lonely place, and it’s not always easy to meet new people. So every week, we highlight one real, actual student who is on this campus and looking for love (non-sexual only, this isn’t a brothel).

Cool Facts About me!

Water > Coke

Once successfully escaped a pagan cult

I own the building you are sitting in now

I have been to the gym once, and that was to get myself excused from P.E.

12 y/o


Leo Rosenthal ’19

Looking for a woman (preferably) with hands strong enough to work the fields of the farm we’re going to buy in Ireland.

Ideal Date Spot

The marble steps of the library. Perhaps we’ll partake in some light chit-chat during our brisk walk to see my favorite humpback whale skeleton.


1. Doesn’t keep up with the stock market.

2. Has not obtained blessing from my great-grandmother.