The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Eight Page’s ‘For Freedoms’

FREEDOM OF: instant success with little to no effort

FREEDOM FROM: people who hold hands pancake-style

FREEDOM FROM: the reality of my complacencey in the American Military-Industrial Complex

FREEDOM TO: evade Phillipian censorship

FREEDOM FROM: freshmen drug hypotheticals

FREEDOM FOR: the children Palfrey has been subjecting to sleep experiments in his basement