Who is William Milk-Before-Cereal Leggat ’20? No one knows. After asking those in his five-person dorm, they responded with, “Is he the kid with pink and green pants?” An Upper in Susie’s answered, “Does he still go here? Is he one of the kids on SYA?” Some may never see him around campus because he lives three miles away, “by choice,” in Abbot. Some may say he was there Junior Year, but, in fact, he is a mole rat who pounces on his work like he would prey in the depth of night, a scholar and a god who mentors his prefectees on when to drop and faint at the amazement of the syllables that roll off his German tongue.
He is a god with a halo around his head in class. Interrupt him, and your hand will be chopped off at the flagpole. He takes immense pride in pushing off science until Senior Year because of the opportunity to take RelPhil, but let’s face it, he has a personal vendetta against STEM kids because he started in Math 100. It’s okay, Will; you will learn how to use a calculator soon — some of us are “mathematically challenged.” He does not just have a role on this school’s esteemed newspaper, but even a higher role at the esteemed “Courant,” a true literary piece that exhibits his angsty side.
But he isn’t just another emotionally charged teenager; he is a one-week-turned-socialist. The inspiration came after getting cut in the stir-fry line. He took the biggest political stand he could think of: changing his Android wallpaper of his girlfriend of one day to the powerful Joseph Stalin.
After roaming campus for two years, he still can’t find his friend group (a common problem among Uppers), so he joined Cross Country, a sport that requires the most basic instinct, running, yet is still subpar.
William Leggat was last spotted searching for the Flat Earth Society at the corners of the map.
