The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: This Week’s Top Headlines

Valentine’s Day Looms Like Dark, Threatening Cloud Over Campus

Plans For Eighth Page Lounge Supported by Everyone Except Party Pooper Upper Management

Eighth Page Once Again Ranked Within Top Ten in The Phillipian Pages by Sequential Order.

Cluster Olympics Deemed by Campus Activists as Just Another Scheme to Divide Students

Newest Procrastination Device Sweeps Campus: Just a Ball of Yarn

Mass Exodus of Students Over Long Weekend Leaves Teachers Searching for Malleable Youths to Guide and Nurture