The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: HOSD 2018

How You Spent HOSD 2018

–Made toast.

–Jumped out in a bear costume

  and scared faculty children.

–In layman’s terms, I soiled myself.

–Found love in Benner House.

–Yelled at the radio.

Looking Forward

Graduation (Seniors: 116

  days; Uppers: 481 days;

  Lowers: 847 days; Freshmen:

  1212 days).

–Eighth Page line of recovery

  sports drinks.

–“The Karate Kid” (always).

–Crippling loneliness.