The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Entirety of Mindfulness Expert’s Seminar Spent Discussing How Helpful Mindfulness Is

Speaking to a small group of students in the Rebecca Sykes Wellness Center last Tuesday as a part of Andover’s ongoing Mental Health and Balance presentation series, professional mindfulness leader and yoga master Lauren Sherrill gave a crash course introduction to the benefits of mindfulness while offering no specifics on where, when, or how one should practice the art.

“Today, I’d like to work to dispel a number of myths about mindfulness, list some of its positive effects, and close this lecture out by teaching you all some techniques,” Sherrill opened her talk before proceeding to complete only the second of her three stated objectives.

“Mindfulness calms you. Mindfulness heals you. Mindfulness saves you,” argued Sherrill, never once across the keynote’s ninety minute runtime outlining a breathing or thought exercise usable by the audience. “Mindfulness can be whatever you want it to be: a walk, a movie, even a piece of chocolate candy,” said Sherrill cryptically.

“I learned, like, nothing,” said David Poole ’19, a student who attended the seminar. “Even her slides were incomprehensible, there were a couple of pictures of people sitting by ponds at sunset, and that was it. Why doesn’t anyone ever just teach us something?”