The Eighth Page

Features — Phillipian Satire: Top Ten Conversations Avoided at the Thanksgiving Table.

10. Your aunt’s nose job.

9. Last Thanksgiving.

8. The dry turkey.

7. Your fourth year on JV yoga.

6. The school did not accept you.

5. The fact that your uncle wants to be a hemp farmer.

4. The cheap wine.

3. Your grandfather’s girlfriend is younger than your father.

2. How grateful the pilgrims actually were for the Native Americans.

1. The next four years.