The parietal rules on our campus are not only unhelpful but also hurtful. If you think I’m biased, I’m not. When the topic of parietals came up in our dorm, I asked a question regarding the rules, and the mere thought of my being involved in a parietal sent over thirty boys and three house counselors into hysterical laughter. Whenever I try to ask a house counselor for permission, they always tell me I could be so much less awkward.
A PAPS officer oversees Alex Bernhard’s imaginary parietal.
Andover, I’m tired of pretending to have a girl in my room, and frankly this ostracizing process is exactly what leads to kids sneaking around campus and getting caught in the SamPhil Elevator – not that I would know, but I heard from a reliable source that that happened to a kid a few years ago. Instead, I propose a better idea: we have a third party sit in on the parietal. It could be anyone from a mother to a PAPS officer. This would allow people to have the same amount of awkwardness as before, but the parietal would be completely monitored throughout the entire 8:00 to 10:30 p.m. process.