The Eighth Page

Schoolwide Media Blitz in Preparation for HOSD

GEORGE WASHING-TON HALL, P.A. — Cit-ing growing excitement from both students and faculty alike, an unnamed high-ranking school official took to various social media platforms Monday night to announce a new initiative to promote the upcoming Head of School Day, the once-in-a-year surprise holiday that’s date is traditionally kept secret.

In a roughly 400-word letter to his followers, which was posted on Facebook and uploaded to Twitter in a series of 20 tweets, the administrator detailed various steps and measures the school will be taking to give the formerly clandestine event more spectacle and publicity.

Initiatives outlined in the administrator’s plan include the hiring of a dedicated social media team which, as described by the official, will work hard to hashtag, taunt and jeer the student body with the prospect of an upcoming day off at all times. Furthermore, the administrator himself will visit various local news and radio stations to raise awareness for the holiday.

“I am booked all across the western Massachusetts AM, FM, PM, Channel 4, Channel 7, Channel 8, Channel 11 stations and Channel 11.75. Trust me, you’re going to hear a lot more about #hosd2016 before it comes!” wrote the official.

“And we’re not just talking about it – we’re celebrating! I am pleased to announce that Head of School Day T-shirts, hats and stickers are already on sale in the PSPA Campus Closet. Finally, thanks to the funding efforts of the Tang Institute, the entire day will be livestreamed on Periscope and Medias-pace from GoPro cameras forcefully attached to the foreheads of two dozen hand-picked student leaders. Go Big Blue!”

Currently, the administrator is considering a plan to delay Head of School Day 2016 until 2017 to prepare fully for the event.