The Eighth Page

Features Fills Out the Common App

1. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

I am different. This summer, I journeyed on a service trip to Arkansas to solve the increasingly problematic issue of pet obesity. I worked tirelessly for two weeks, and my experience was life-changing, to say the least. While I was there, I helped pets learn habits of eating balanced meals (I swear, I’ve never seen so many chubby corgis in my life) and instilled in them the importance of Ritz crackers in their daily diets. I truly became emotionally attached to the pets (especially Pookie the Poodle). To this day, I continue to be inspired by their many struggles, such as only having access to white rice. Their poor diets had an effect on me personally because I have always been a very sympathetic person. The heart of my message was to inspire the importance of eating healthy breakfasts. I would consider my mission to be a successful one because I rallied for waffle makers to be completely eradicated from the state, except for on Sundays. If you don’t believe me, you can see my attached album titled “Ending Animal Obesity for Good Summer 2K15” or my blog at I was sure to post quite a few photos of me with the overweight pets so that all of my friends from school would feel badly about their flabby, waddling tabby cats and see that I am just such a better person than they are. See also the before and after pictures of the pets I helped – I used my awesome editing skills and made a really cool collage. I hope that you will see my actions and passion for these issues as a genuine reflection of my flawless character.

2. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Before Monday, January 6 of my Lower year, I was but an infant of the mind. The thick shell of my teenage naïveté had yet to be cracked, and I had no grasp for the real world. Third period of that very day, I was assigned an extensive chemistry lab, a history paper and a verbal Chinese test. My juvenile brain swelled with steaming blood; how was I to complete all of this work! I began my journey through the mountain of assignments immediately after my competitive Cluster Basket-Weaving practice ended. For the first time, I traveled into that treacherous jungle of intellectual nuggets – the Chamber of Silent Study. I thought and thought, the rusty wheels of my brain beginning to crank for the first time in ages. With the wisdom of an owl, I decided to move my studying perch to my dorm room. Before I knew it, the clock struck nine. This is when I began to feel an unfamiliar change in my body. I continued working, but each passing hour brought changes to my mental and physical state. My clammy palms grew sore from the constant, sudden motion of the pen. With each completed sentence of my history paper, a new hair sprouted from my chin and other places! What was happening to me? Well, past midnight, when I began to practice for my oral Chinese test, I felt my vocal chords quiver, and my voice dropped to a luscious tenor. By 3 in the morning, my wisdom teeth had sprouted out of my gums. By 5 a.m., arthritis set into my joints. By 6, my skin was slightly wrinkled. And finally, by 7, I was finished with my homework and began planning my 401k. Through my overnight ordeal, I had become a fully-functioning adult and just couldn’t wait to head off to the nursing home.

3. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

There was this one time that I failed, I think. You might remember, as I mentioned previously in my application, that I built the first supercomputer prototype to be launched into space. If you have forgotten that I did this – build a supercomputer, that is – I reported it in the “achievements,” “personal life” and also “general information” sections of the application. But anyway, now that you are aware that I built a supercomputer that is now orbiting the earth, I can tell you about that one time that I failed (very slightly). So basically when I was building the computer (which is literally orbiting in space as we speak), I accidentally filled the hard drive with Beyoncé songs instead of space data or something like that. It took me about 45 seconds to fix it, if you were wondering. But idk, it’s not really important that we focus on that because, if you recall, my prototype was launched into space and also won like seventeen awards. Have I not mentioned the awards previously?? Well, now that you’ve asked, I was runner-up in twelve high school science fairs, and I earned international recognition in the 2012 Winter Olympics. I was nominated for an Oscar, the Pulitzer Prize, an Academy Award, the Heisman Trophy, the Scholastic Gold Key Award, a Purple Heart and the Nobel Peace Prize. Also I was “Most Likely to Take Over the World” in the yearbook. I was kind of miffed that they didn’t expand it to include the whole universe as my domain, especially because my supercomputer is basically interstellar. I also would like to point out that my computer (in case you forgot, IT IS in space right now) has access to the satellite from that one spy movie so I could wipe out entire cities with a laser beam from space if I wanted to. It might be something to keep in mind when you are considering my application 🙂