The Eighth Page

Sleeping Beauty and The Sleeping Room

It is 7:59 a.m., and Rory Rose is still in her dorm, lying in her bed with one eye open.

She contemplates her options – she can either force herself to throw on whatever clothes are around her and sprint to first period or slowly roll out of bed and head to the sleeping room.

Rory Rose sighs – she didn’t deserve this curse!

When Rory was born, her father, Headmaster Brian Rose, called a Head of School Day so that everyone in the kingdom of Andover could celebrate her birth. He held an enormous soireé and invited all the magical deans in the land. Each magical dean bestowed a gift upon Rory, the newborn princess.

The first dean, the Dean of Morse, gave Rory the gift of mathematical genius.

The second dean, the Dean of Graves, bestowed upon her the gift of musical talent.

However, the third dean – the Dean of Isham – was bitter. She was about to lose her post and be replaced by the Dean of the Rebecca M. Sykes Wellness Center.

In that fateful moment, the Dean of Isham placed a dreadful curse upon the rosy-cheeked princess. Beginning on her 16th birthday and for the rest of her life, Rory would, without fail, feel too fatigued to attend a single class.

Before anyone could react to the shocking turn of events, the Dean of Students interjected. “There shalt be an exception,” exclaimed the Dean. “Rory shall be awoken from her deep sleep by true love’s parietal!”

A collective gasp spread throughout the audience.

“Not a… legal parietal?!” shouted a voice from the crowd.

16 years later…

Rory sighs. She gathers her things and heads toward the sleeping room, struggling to keep her eyes open and shaking herself awake every few seconds. For several months she has been doomed to make a daily trek to Dean of Isham’s evil dominion. Why do bad things happen to good people?

Finally, she arrives at the dreaded room in Isham. She settles in and closes her eyes, but her phone buzzes before she can drift off.

“Yo want 2 hav parietal?”

Rory’s eyes jerk open, and she falls to her knees with joy.

And with that, she lived happily ever after.