This past Friday night, a legendary “Den Waltz” occurred in the majestic ballroom of Susana’s. Children of all grades flooded the gates of Paresky Commons, each donning a unique gown or tuxedo.
During the dance, the phrase, YOSYAO (You Only Show Your Ankles Once) was coined.
The renowned DJ, Daft Palf, filled the ballroom with elegant waltz music and heartwarming foxtrot tunes. As the night wore on, Daft Palf began to turn up the heat.
Many dancers removed their corsets and cumberbunds to allow further mobility on the dance floor. Fortunately, Dean of Ankle Coverage was not present to witness the tomfoolery unfolding in Susana’s.
One Junior went so far as to remove her perfectly fitted glass UGGs, as she didn’t want them to shatter.
“Shortie was fire burning on the dance floor. I didn’t want to risk the well-being of my glass UGGs,” said Cindy Umbrella ’18.
With the DJ’s delicately-orchestrated mosh pits and crowd surfs, Cindy stole the spotlight with her unique dance moves, such as the pop-it-lock-it-churn-the-butter.
Cindy was having a wonderful time, and her heart soared when she glimpsed what she thought was her friend, Gus, the mouse. Gus was a very helpful fellow – he had even assisted in sewing Cindy’s dress, with the help of several other woodland creatures.
When Cindy bent down to greet him, however, she realized the rodent was actually a fearsome Den Rat.
As she escaped the rodent in a twirl of panic, Cindy accidentally created a new dance move which was later adapted by figure skaters and named “The Iron Lotus.”
Minutes before sign-in, Cindy realized that her glass UGGs had disappeared.
Frantically, she posted a picture of her precious shoes on her class’s Facebook page to raise awareness, but nobody came to her rescue, despite her desperate hashtag: #damselindistress.
“We raised the roof and evacuated the dance floor, but we simply could not hit the gas pedal hard enough to find her shoes,” said Dean of Den Dances, Mr. Dun-Dun-Dun.
Luckily for Cindy, a handsome young fellow came across her glass UGGs while scootering through campus. They fell in love, got an open-door parietal and Cindy did not turn into a pumpkin.