The Eighth Page

Hoarders Club Turns Over: Ariel Chooses Predecessor

This past week, students atop Andover hill encountered one of the toughest challenges they’ve had to face: turnover.

No, we are not talking about the apple turnover Paresky Commons served last Wednesday that sent many students to the dentist. We are talking club board turnover.

Many students stayed up past lights out to complete the strenuous applications for their desired board position.

Club royalty had their own struggles, experiencing many varieties of “Empty Throne Syndrome” when trying to give their positions away.

Ariel, ex-Supreme Leader of Hoarders Club, struggled to fill the positions of her coveted board. “We do so much on this campus to ensure the hoarding culture is ever-present. We want to include Hoarders from Every Quarter”.

Ariel required all candidates to submit a video interview, a RapChat interview and a 16 page long thesis. Wouldn’t you think Ariel was the girl, the girl who had everything?
No. She then required her candidates to demonstrate their hoarding skills in person.

Features interviewed the top two candidates for Head of Hoarders Club before Ariel’s final decision was made:

“Ohana means hoarding, and hoarding means no trash left behind or forgotten,” said Experiment 626, Stitch.

“I have a lot of experience with small spaces. I also have a lot of experience with hair hoarding,” said Rapunzel who was just recently released from her tower.

Clearly, Ariel’s final decision was a tough one. Without the advice of her trusty companion, Ariel floundered while trying to reach a decision. Furthermore, she did not want to give up her true passion at Andover.

In the end, instead of picking a new Head of Hoarders Club, Ariel decided to stay atop Andover Hill. She declined the scholarship she was given for Human Studies at Atlantis.
Andover will have gadgets and gizmos a plenty for 4 more years!