The Eighth Page

Top Ten: Things You Should Know for Your BKH Audition

10. Caution: No diving, too shallow.

9. We won’t skirt the issue: it can get a bit drafty.

8. Mind the beverages.

7. Don’t even try to serve fish to the BKH — they like red meat.

6. Create a tsunami evacuation plan before starting the wave.

5. If you tell the crowd you’re going to say blue, you should probably say it.

4. Wear SPF 55 sunscreen to avoid being scorched by current BKH.

3. Don’t forget to wear your strongest push-up bra.

2. Read up on Jane Goodall in order to better interact with the school mascot.

1. Leave your self-respect and dignity at the door.