Dear readers,
Welcome to the new United Nations of Featuresia (U.N.F.)!
We, as the new Co-Presidents of this noble land, could not be more excited for our term in power. Though we know that all of you must be mourning the sudden loss of your beloved former ruler in that tragic jetpacking accident, we promise to serve you well and to make you laugh uncontrollably until you fall to the floor in a comedy-coma (a noble ailment) each week. If ever we fail to live up to the sky-high expectations that you hold for our humor, please, we implore you to impeach us at once. Under our loving guidance, U.N.F. shall expand its borders and conquer new, unexplored territories of satire. We intend to shock and amaze you, confuse and daze you, but most of all, entertain you.
With jubilance,
Your loving Co-Presidents Emily Anderson and Julia Lane
