The Eighth Page

TOP TEN: Passive Aggressive Christmas Presents

10. “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”

9. Soap.

8. Contraceptives.

7. Weight Watchers Starter Kit.

6. Altoids.

5. Pamphlet for Alcoholics Anonymous.

4. Turtlenecks and Other Modest Attire.

3. “How to Talk to Girls.”

2. “SAT for Dummies.”

1. A Blind Date with Ms. Keller.