The Eighth Page

Top 10 Worst Things to Say to Someone Mourning a Loved One

10. At least he didn’t die old…

9. Heaven just couldn’t wait to have them!

8. Let’s be honest: the world’s a better place without him.

7. Be strong, you bleary-eyed wimp.

6. She’s got to be in a better place. Don’t you remember her pigsty of an apartment?!?!

5. Ten points for Malthus!

4. How about a game of FIFA after the funeral?

3. Well it’s about time! I thought she would live to see 100!

2. Look on the bright side: more inheritance for the rest of us!

1. Hey, now you can be a Features Associate!