The Eighth Page

Family Weekend Itinerary

**Friday, October 24:**

No scheduled appointments. But when you arrive, just forget about your children. Don’t let their academic struggles stress you out. Instead, enjoy a relaxing evening in the majesty of our historic campus’s beautiful scenery.

**Saturday, October 25:**

9:00 a.m. – Enjoy a full English breakfast at Paresky Commons, with optional room service at the Andover Inn.

12:00 p.m. – Meetings with teachers begin.

3:00 p.m. – Once parent-teacher meetings have finished, house counselors will meet with parents to discuss how to address their child’s limited academic efforts in class.

6:00 p.m. – Paresky Commons will be serving a light appetizer of steak tartare, and the main course will be composed of a chicken paillard, elegantly garnished with a fresh lemon arugula salad.

8:00 p.m. – Complimentary foot massages and back rubs in Isham.

10:00 p.m. – Go to bed for a nice early sleep of roughly nine hours and 15 minutes.

**Sunday, October 26:**

10:00 a.m. – Enjoy a morning repaste of Nutella-stuffed French toast and German Weisswurst Sausage at Paresky Commons or, alternatively, breakfast in your bed, if you signed up for room service.*

1:00 p.m. – Attend the Head of School’s newest speech entitled: “Don’t worry. Their grades will sort themselves out eventually.”

4:00 p.m. – Take an afternoon nap and wonder why your kid complains so much! Isn’t this place so relaxing?!

7:00 p.m. – Grand sushi feast, featuring “Rainbow Ahi Ahi Maki” and “Dragon Shrimp rolls.”

10:00 p.m. – Nice early sleep! Again! Hooray!

*This special treatment is completely normal. Actually.