The Eighth Page

Top Ten: Reasons Andover Should Secede

10. “President Palfrey” has a nice ring to it.

9. So HoS day finally receives the national recognition it deserves.

8. To escape the insults of Andover townsfolk.

7. Palfreycare > Obamacare.

6. We have enough Sperry’s to start an export economy.

5. ‘Secede’ and ‘Succeed’ sound very similar.

4. National Sunday Sundaes.

3. So George Bush ’64 can get four more years.

2. Two presidents are better than one.

1. Student Council never undergoes a complete shutdown.