The Eighth Page

Letter to The Editor

_**Disclaimer: In no way does Features or The Phillipian endorse any of the view presented in this Letter to the Editor. Quite frankly, we are shocked at the author’s audacity. We apologize for any discomfort or offense this letter may inflict. Take it out on him, not us.**_

To the Editor:

First and foremost, I would like to acknowledge all the articles in the past 137 issues of _The Phillipian_ — I applaud all authors and co-signatories for your courage, intellect and profound tolerance.

Now, this is not to say that I do not equally applaud all writers of other articles in other sections — you too have inspired us all. And even if you have not inspired us, I have no intention of judging your lack of inspiration to write, nor do I wish to infer that applause is the only form of conveying approval.

Moreover, my submission of this letter to _The Phillipian_ bears no implication that the paper is in any way the most well-respected, noble or fine of Andover’s student publications (including — but not limited to — “Frontline,” “Backtracks,” “The Courant,” “The Record” and “Submarine”). Furthermore, I have no intention of depicting written publications as more authentic than anything (published or not published) that is accessed by means of PC, Mac, eBook, smartphone, Kindle, etc.

At the risk of offending various movements on campus, I am driven to state that the content of this article is in no way a critique or condemnation of anything stated heretofore in _The Phillipian_ or the staff of the paper. For that matter, this piece is not an appraisal of movements on other campuses, readers of other newspapers, parents of readers of other newspapers and their relatives, neighbors and friends nearby, or any other organization (or non-organization) in the world.

On the contrary, neither do I ignore — nor am I otherwise insensitive — to matters of income, outcome, hook-up status or Facebook marital status. I am furthermore cognizant that if I were ignorant of these matters, it would be no fault of my own, nor would it be the fault of any individual or group who is ignorant of any topic.

However, my thoughts are in no way impinged upon by race, ethnicity, culture, gender, sex, religion, sexuality, political orientation, athleticism, fashion sense or olfactory capabilities.

Thank you,

**_Theodore D. Lasry_**