The Eighth Page

Four Square

When you have six hours of homework on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, what better way to spend it than at the library. . . terrace playing four square. In a way, the game is similar to the evolutionary concept of “Survival of the Fittest”: each square carries its own stigma, stereotype and microaggression. Starting from the bottom, the last quadrant contains the remnants of each and every single pair of recessive gene ever found at Andover. It is famous for not having changed since the game’s invention: this is where you find the giggly girls, the introspective intramural players, the nerdy nerds, the dweeby dweebs. The second square contains the JVers, some of whom spill into the so-close-yet-so-far third square. If you can get this far, now you’re in for the real challenge: the hunks. The players residing the top square generally consist of the D1 bound, 2.5 GPA handsome young athletes. These so-called “jocks” quickly rise on the ladder, and are a pain to play with, literally. Their hits are painful, even on an emotional level. It sucks when the top squarers play for too long and tears are shed. Click below to take an online “What Square Do YOU Belong In?” quiz and share it to annoy all of your Facebook friends!