The Eighth Page

Reduce, Reuse, Repumpkin!

Andover’s initiative to “go green” has become more common across campus this year. Grades have gone online, teachers are using digital textbooks and Paresky Commons has begun distributing reusable mugs (which, to the great concern of community members, have been mugged by thugs). Alongside these developments, Andover is sponsoring a “Green Thanksgiving” this year. For years, we have prided ourselves on recyclable turkey, eco-friendly stuffing and biodegradable mashed potatoes. But this year, the administration has a new scheme: pumpkin recycling. After months of meetings, doing experiments and ignoring the student body, the administration sent an email to students outlining the new plan for decorative pumpkins. What used to be just Halloween ornaments in years past will now become multi-functional tools for daily activities, thanks to this innovative plan. Every dorm is expected to transport all of their pumpkins to Susie’s, where Paresky-duty students will remove the stems. Once dried and carved, these stems will be used as mugs in Lower Left, as well as nail-filers and tongue depressors in Isham. Once the pumpkins are shaved, their skin will be pressed and sent to the art store in Elson. Next term, the Art Department is hoping to offer a course in pumpkin glove-making, taught by the newly appointed Dean of Gourds and Squash Coach, Kevin Gourdon. In addition, the Biology Department has determined that, when mashed, the pulp and fibrous strands on the inside of a pumpkin can be used as shampoo, bodywash and conditioner. The gooey orange substance has proven to be more beneficial to body hair health than even the Old Spice 3-in-1 equivalent. Samples are currently being bottled in the basement of Gelb Science Center and will be overpriced in Susie’s this coming week. In the spirit of Thanksgiving this year, Gourdon will be hosting a ritual feast in Pine Knoll this coming Saturday. Pumpkins will be ground up and catapulted over Nathan Hale and into the Cochran Bird Sanctuary. Squashes are also welcome.