The Eighth Page

Demi Gelato Makes Glorious Return

Demi Gelato is back on the music scene and off the boulevard of broken dreams! The young celebrity developed a public and humiliating coffee addiction last winter after attending too many coffeehouses, but it is now on the path to recovery. The harmful effects of coffee have been threatening Gelato’s health and scarring her poor heart, just like a tattoo. Her physician, Dr. Leigh Riqual, explained, “I think it’s good she put her defenses up. She didn’t want to fall in love (with coffee), and if she ever did that, I think she’d have a heart attack. She really needs to give her heart a break!” Other doctors shared their input, claiming they’ve never seen anybody act so reckless or heartless. How could she be so heartless, they ask sadly, teardrops falling on their guitars and medical records. “I’m surprised her heart still functions at this point! Really, we should preserve it in either a jar of hearts or a heart-shaped box for posterity,” observed Dr. Dray. “It felt like there was a fire starting in my heart. It was reaching a fever pitch that started in my toes and made me crinkle my nose,” admitted Gelato about her early phases of addiction. At first, Gelato said no no no about going to rehab because she just needed to gimme a reason, just a little bit’s enough. Unfortunately, this reason came in the form of embarrassing pictures posted of her trippin’, stumblin’, flippin’, fumblin’, and overall clumsy cause she was on a caffeine overdose. These photos helped Demi realize that she had to eventually come around (after going around), and she is now back to reality. Whoop, there’s her sanity. Demi knows she gotta keep her head up and let her hair down, and she is helped by the knowledge that what doesn’t kill her makes her stronger. Many times she has to stand a little taller, to avoid being lonely when she’s alone. Luckily for Demi, both her health and love life healed after her 1, 2 step rehab recovery. She just met this 5 foot 7 guys who’s just her type. He’s a good American boy named J-j-jason DeCoolo, who swears he’s never gonna break break her, break break her heart, as she has helped him come to terms with his stutter and he appreciates her for that. In our exclusive Phillipian interview, Gelato shared, “Jason’s the sweetest. We met in a recording studio, and he asked me to call him maybe. Now it feels like I’ve been awakened, and every rule I’ve had to break it.” Fans everywhere are rejoicing at Gelato’s clean recovery. Rumor has it she’s working a hard day’s night on her new album, Caffeinated. We can only hope she gets harder, better, faster, and stronger!