The Eighth Page

The Exeter Diet

Before I left home for Exeter, I was a robust, voluptuous young person- “a whole lot to love,” as my mother phrased it. However, when I found myself blown onto and pinned up against a building by the wind yesterday, I realized that I have steadily withered away since my arrival to campus.

How did this happen? I began to ask myself at the 45-minute mark of being unable to brace the gusts and break free. In between Analytic Quantum Trigonometric-Geometric B.C. Physiological Calculus homework problems and (unsuccessfully) trying to flag down fellow Exonians to help me, I pondered possible sources to my dire state. Finally, by hour two of the grueling deadlock, I figured it out: Exeter.

Exeter has stripped me of the girth I used to so proudly flaunt around, and I hadn’t even noticed it until my wake-up call against the wall. From the second the house conquerors wake me at 4:45 a.m. (yes, be jealous, I have first period free) to the time I finish my History of the U.S.-Japanese-Latin American Revolutionary Civil War: The Real Story and the Cover-Up homework at night, I am on the go nonstop, without any time to eat. It’s a problem.