The Eighth Page

A New Moon Rises on Werewolf Vampire Relations

They have always been separated instinctually. Werewolves minded their own business; vampires didn’t acknowledge the werewolves. They were friendly, but not friends. It’s been like that for as long as anyone can remember. Until now.

When Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson (what was she thinking!?), a feeling of resentment arose between the two groups. Defending their distant cousin, vampires were furious with Stewart. Werewolves blamed Pattinson. Slowly but surely, the dislike has grown into hate, and now vampires and werewolves can barely sit in the same room together.

At first, the fights were only online via social media sites such as FaceBOO!k. One user, Count Yurblessings, wrote a post referring to the werewolves as “dirtay dawgz” and “mutts,” which greatly hurt the hunky werewolves’ egos as they chowed down on their rare steaks in Lower Right.

Despite the werewolves lame comeback (“Leeches scare me more than you vampires do!”), they appeared victorious the next evening, effectively convincing the Commons staff to serve garlic knots for dinner. Vampires ordered that the “filthy dogs get out of [their] kitchen.”

The separation has become more evident when vampires created their own Andover shirts, with a slogan on the back stating “Go Big Bloo(d)!”

Yet the cyber bullying, name-calling and segregation are only the start of it. This week, things started to get violent when a preview of “Breaking Dawn: Part 2” came on the television in Susie’s. Needless to say, things got hairy.

Will the feud die down? Or will it escalate to something uncontrollable? What will happen on the next full moon? Stay tuned, Andover, and stay safe.