The Eighth Page

SYA: Pizza Planet

While Earth continues to satisfy your hunger with Campus is Cookin’, SYA Planet Pizza will provide you with a bounty of sustenance for a full academic year. Students stay in dough dormitories in the capital city of Crust and attend classes at Domino’s University. All meals consist of pizza, the most populous life form on the planet. Pizzas tend to live in families of four larges for $10, plus a pet meatball or two. Upon arrival at Planet Pizza, students will be immediately immersed in the planet’s culture and grease. Domino’s curriculum covers the planet’s history from the infamous civil war between thick and thin crusts in 1082 to the ongoing anchovy smuggling crisis, as well as the Italian language and pizza chemistry. This program is anticipated to be an enormous success, in contrast to last year’s failed program on Planet Salad. All of Domino’s University’s classes are taught by world-renowned faculty such as Professor Papa Johns, Instructor in Better Ingredients and Better Pizza. Tuition is free with the purchase of a two-topping medium pizza. All inquiries should be directed to Papa Johns, the program’s director (