On Sunday, September 23, 2512, Paul Johnfrey was invested as the 59th Supreme Leader of Phillips Academy only two days after becoming an official citizen of Planet Earth.
This was a day of many firsts, including the first time that the Academy has had a Supreme Leader from Pluto.
Though Johnfrey’s past is shrouded in mystery, some of which is dismissed as a lapse of judgment (*cough* Exeter *cough*), we are excited to see what he has to offer to the school.
Some other areas of Mr. Johnfrey’s new leadership are equally mysterious. First, Pluto isn’t even a planet, so we’re left to wonder if Johnfrey is even a Plutonian because his resume clearly stated that he grew up on a different planet. There have also been concerns expressed about his aggressive push to include UFO’s in the Vehicular Permission clause of the Blue Holographic Book.
Spacism aside, why doesn’t he have a tail like most other Plutonians we’ve encountered? Everyone is thinking about this essential question. Were his parents Plutonians? These are the kind of questions we have.
Though unprecedented, Johnfrey’s unearthly heritage will undoubtedly lead to many wonderfully radical changes. For one, Johnfrey is spearheading multiple “blind” admissions initiatives. Not only is Phillips Academy need-blind, but the school is also planet-blind. With Johnfrey’s help, Andover plans on being completely blind by the year 2520.
Johnfrey is also adamant about changing the admission’s centuries old motto, “youth from every quarter of the world.” According to Johnfrey, the only way Andover will ever be completely without sight is to change the motto to “youth from every quarter of the galaxy and eventually universe,” not just planet Earth.