The Eighth Page

Rallies Back and Forth Over Girls Volleyball Sand Strike

This Sunday, Andover Girls Volleyball made an official announcement, stating it will never again look at a volleyball, practice or play, (and the players “really mean it this time!”), unless another defining adjective is added to revolutionize their team as we know it, and that word is none other than the coveted “beach.” Over the years, many players have shyly mused about the possibility of renovating Memorial Gym’s hard wooden court into a sandy stage, but it took a certain libero by the name of Sandy Castile ’15, (great job last week, Sandy-Sea!), to possibly liberate her teammates from their timber tundra. When asked why she feels so strongly about swapping the hard floor for a more granular one, she grittily replied, “I don’t like the way kneepads look on me, and you have to wear them for the hard floor, but not on the sand. Also, people tell me I have like, such a hot bod, and I think they should get to see it as much as possible before winter when everyone is all sedimentary.” And no, she apparently did not mean “sedentary.” Mr. Jim, or as he’s more fondly called, Bored Jim, (and by some malicious urchins, Dim Jim), a representative of the Athletics Department, claims that “bringin’ in a buncha sand for a buncha s%!#*s iza wasta time.” Mrs. Kurt, also part of the Athletics Departments, quipped, “Sand? Banned!” The whole campus awaits the outcome of this precipitating erosion between Girls Volleyball and the Athletics Department. Girls Volleyball takes on no-one this coming Saturday, choosing instead to hang out in Pine Knoll.