The Eighth Page

Blue Book Misprint Enrages Eager Detail-Minded Students

When a person from Andover is asked, “Who is the fairest of them all?”, 11 out of 10 are guaranteed to say the Blue Book. It is the untouchable doctrine of the school and the Holy Bible of the Deans. But in spite of its prestige, the Blue Book’s reputation is seriously shattered this year. Indeed, students are outraged by a slight misprint on the fifth line of Page 52 of the Blue Book. Although the error does not make any difference in the context nor does it change any rules, students are enraged by Andover’s carelessness. An anonymous resident of Rockwell expressed his anger. He said, “Please don’t put my name because I peed in my roommate’s water bottle when I couldn’t stop reading the Blue Book. I did not sleep or shower or eat or do homework on my first night at Andover just to read it, but when I was on Page 52, Line five, I was devastated. This is a crime!” In addition, some students have initiated an Occupy movement to show their dissatisfaction with the Blue Book’s publisher. One of the leaders, Cola N. Mentos, says, “The misprint is 1 percent of the whole book, but even that can bring down the other 99 percent. Through our Occupy movement, we want to show Andover the significance of printing. So far we have taken down the printer in George Washington Hall. ” A few students have taken a more radical approach to this issue. Rudy Mathers proudly shows everyone his left arm that is covered with words. “I wrote them after showering this morning. They are the misprint from the Blue Book, and I want to show people what it really is about. I am getting a tattoo this weekend to permanently put those words on my arm. Just wait and see the real Blue Book!” Meanwhile, a note blurred by tears was discovered last night in Hakuna Matata’s room. The only legible part reads, “I cannot handle the disgrace of the school making such a mistake, and I have decided to leave for a better cause. C YA.” After receiving such negative reactions from students, Andover has announced that it intends to distribute an edited copy of the Blue Book online next week. Even the advent of a newly digitized and corrected Blue Book has been unable to quell this campus controversy.Several students are now fearful about the authenticity of a non-printed Blue Book, particularly one hosted on an NAC-less wireless network.