Now, I’m not gonna say I am a saint or anything… wait nevermind. I am a saint: while some goofballs were wasting their time in Cancun on spring break, I helped out some poor villagers in Pasquiddleland.
The guys there were really needy, and they didn’t even have running water. I knew just what to do. Water. Slide. BAM. Today, I carried 80 logs to the village to construct the waterslide for them. But it’s not about me. It’s about the villagers. They seemed a bit confused for some reason, but I knew it would be just perfect when it was done.
But before that I knew we needed some sweet refreshments for the construction. So I went to hunt an elephant for them. I learned it is really hard to hunt an elephant with a stick. So that didn’t really pan out.
Then I got this divine inspiration while dragging some twigs back from the savannah: LEMONADE STAND. Now when life gives you lemons, make lemonade right?
Well they didn’t have any real lemons, but I just knew I could make a beautiful stand for the lemonade. I was kind of tired so I didn’t want to have to get any more logs. So I took the water slide apart for the wood. Don’t get me wrong: it was a great idea, but this lemonade stand was going to be legendary.
Now, it was about this time the locals started walking by where I was working. They really thought I was awesome; you could just tell from how they would always be looking at me and laughing. Man, I really am a great person.