Last week, a shocking Presidential signature duplication scandal rocked the Andover campus. While there was initial speculation of several people signing candidates’ sheets multiple times, it has been recently determined by the administration that this was not the case at all.
In fact, high ranking faculty members have come to the conclusion that many Phillips Academy students have in fact been secretly cloned. They hypothesized that it was these clones that had provided the duplicate signatures on the sheets. But where did these clones come from?
There are some theories that point to the elusive academic organization known as “Bio 999,” a highly secretive course that accepts only the brightest Andover minds. It is quite possible that these underground science students have been cloning their classmates as part of a grand experiment!
We advise the student body to be on the lookout for these clones.