The Eighth Page

Sign Me Up

9:59 p.m. A frenzied rush of breathless children cluster around a single sheet of paper. A sheet of paper that causes so much heartache. The dreaded 9:45 p.m. rush back to the dorms. When all you want to do is catch up with your parents on the phone and talk about your long-term goals and personal wellness, sign- will always be there to end the conversation and leave you unsatisfied: sign-in. Every night. At 10 p.m. The tradition of an inconvenient 10 p.m. sign-in time is one that has dominated the lives of Andover student since the beginning of time. The problem is, Andover students have gotten so used to this time that they have forgotten what it really feels like to live life. Imagine this: an extra three minutes before sign-in. Out with the 10 p.m. sign-in; hallelujah to the glorious 10:03 p.m. sign-in! The possibilities are endless. An extra three minutes free of stress is scientifically proven to extend the human life span. According to my little brother, “drinking green tea is heart healthy.” By the end of your time at Andover, those three extra minutes, that you may have used to drink green tea, may extend your life by over three years. For those who are reluctant to change sign-in time, I propose a three step plan. Each year over the next three years, sign-in will be moved back by one minute. In this way, annoying people who have a deep-seated fear of change will be able to slowly adapt to the new program. I like to call this the 3-3-3 plan: three steps. Three extra minutes. Three years added to your life. The 3-3-3 plan can save lives. Think about it. When you are 85 and dying, wouldn’t you rather be 88 and dying? Charlie Jarvis & Tori Grice are both freshman. Charlie has a budding passion for stamp collection, while Tori is an amateur magician.