The Eighth Page

Miraculously Wins in Thrilling ExtraTime Showdown Against Exeter Girls JV Field Hockey

Andover Soccer defeated Phillips Exeter Academy in an intense match-up culminating late in extra time. Due to the entire Exeter soccer team failing to pass a statewide “Not Being Ugly” Test, they were not allowed to play. However, instead of forfeiting, Exeter decided to play its JV Girls Field Hockey team instead. An Andover centerback said, “We didn’t realize that this wasn’t the real team until the players didn’t score a perfect cross. In retrospect, the field hockey uniforms should probably have given it away.”

The game was hard-fought, with neither team getting a shot on net in the first 80 minutes. An Exeter defender said, “At first, we found it difficult playing a different sport, but once we realized we were stronger than them, we got a huge confidence boost.”

Around the 85th minute, Andover’s offense really started to get going after a striker managed to get a shot on goal after two Exeter backs left the field due to a mix of boredom and pity.

Unfortunately, the Exeter goalie made a heroic glove save while waving to her Aunt Bernice on the sideline. In the 90th minute, an Exeter midfielder accidentally scored an own-goal when her throw-in ricocheted off of a teammate’s foot into the goal. The own-goal gave Andover its first win of their season, with the final score 1-0. An Andover striker described the game winning play, saying, “When I saw that Exeter girl kicking the ball the wrong way, I knew this was the break we had been waiting for all season. I’m very proud of our team, and I think that if we keep this up, we might even score a real goal next week in our game against Pike Middle School.”