The Eighth Page

Ambiguous Athlete of the Week

Through thick and thin, tough and rough, hard and slow, soft and fast, Mickey Roo is always there for that team. That’s why this week’s Athlete of the Week is this… person. We, as in just me, because I don’t have any real friends, decided to sit down with Roo to ask a few questions about the sport and some other cool fun things that athletes should share with the community.

Q: So, why do you like your sport?

A: Well, my sport is all about playing it. It involves a lot of everything, but at the same time you’re not doing much, you know?

Q: Of course, of course, it’s so obvious to me now. Why didn’t I see that? What is your favorite thing about your sport?

A: Well, I like winning, I guess. That’s generally the thing that most people like about their respective sports. I mean, even if you didn’t know what sport we were talking about right now, you could still answer that question with “winning.” But back to the subject at hand, I like winning. I guess I’m like Charlie Sheen in that respect. I’m also outdated. I guess I’m like Charlie in that respect, too. Although, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like P. Diddy. So, I guess in those terms, I’m like Ke$ha.

Q: Who would you say is your favorite athlete who is your gender and who plays your sport?

A: You know what, that’s a tough question! I mean, I could say so many people right now, who all play my sport. And all of them would be my gender. Do you know?

Q: Well, I did ask the question… Regardless, when is your next home game?

A: I like to think of away games as home games too, because considering how at home I am in every situation, all these places are homes away from homes. It’s almost as if I

could fit into any situation. For example, I could

literally be any gender or play any sport and it would just work… Do you know what I mean?

Q: I sure do.