The Eighth Page

Top Ten Ways to Not Do Work

10. Check Facebook. Check email. Repeat

9. Fifa, COD, Age of Empires. Pick your poison.

8. Go to the library. Get distracted by so called “friends.”

7. Get fed up and go to basement to work alone. See #10.

6. Get fed up and close your computer. Just you and your books. Stare blankly at wall.

5. Bring computer to great lawn. Experience “glare.” Curse Mac screens. Stare blankly at sky.

4. You’ve been selfish. Call your parents. You’re a good person. Call your grandparents. Even better. Call your uncle. OK… Call that kid you met at camp once.

3. 20 minute power nap. Hear alarm. Accept that you are weak… Take 1 hour 40 minute power nap.

2. Stare at math text book. Don’t study though. Just stare. Hopefully information will seep into your brain through osmosis.

1. Write a Top 10.